^_^ So...

I have officially, messed up my sleeping habits. When I got home yesterday I fell asleep at like, 3-ish, and was asleep until 12-ish, only because I had been up for a good twenty four hours without sleep. Heheh...I am such a fool. Oh well.

It's going to be 4am in a bit and then I will officially have two hours before my usual wake up time would be. 

In other news, great start to the week, no work to be brought home to do. First semester is easier than last year. Shouldn't it be escalating? Whatever.

We had to go to the wight rooms instead of football, will be for the whole week, I don't have anything against working out it's just, I'm skinny enough. Not to brag, I mean I am unfit when it comes to physical activities, aka, sports; but not so much to the point where I suck. I was lifting weights with about five of my friends we all took around 10-15 pound weights, yeah, a little too much whatever, I was having no trouble, I took 12 pound weights, with my right hand but when it came to lifting up the weight with my left hand, I swear I became physically challenged, haha. I guess I have to work on my left arm, more so my upper body strength. Not the best I want it. 

Then again, we can't all be perfect and look how we want to be, it takes hard work and right now, I don't have time for that. I got classes to go to and work to finish, and soon a shitload of essays.

 I got an essay in french. It's due...Monday? Next Monday I think, teacher decided to push it up. 

The catch is, [there's always a catch] we have to do all the work in class! Bullshit. -_-

The idiots my friends can be sometimes were like "I can't do this! I hate working on shit in class...blah, blah, blah." And I was like "Guys, stfu. Just do the work at home, right?" they all nod and I continue "Then bring the copy to class and just re-copy it to look like you're doing work. Done with." And they were all like "Wow! Great idea, J." Sighs.

Anyways. It's all I have to say at almost 4am in the morning. 

-DS

Photos by me. =]

Already?

I guess blogging is something I enjoy because within the first day I have made four blogs, not including this one of course. Awesome. I bet I have more blogs than someone who started a year ago. Then again, when I sign up for something, I use it. 

I guess right now, I am in a better mood than how I was last night, not that it was bad but too much deep thinking can get you lost. 

Since my title is "Already?"...

My first part was about how I already have four posts.

BUT.

I have something else to add.

It's already Sunday, therefore, Monday tomorrow. Ugh. -_- I hate having to get up early, and I'm sure I'm not alone. Working all day. This sucks. As bad as I hate it. It's better than staying home and then having twice as much to do the next day. At least, I don't have essays yet, thank god my classes are easy right now, but next semester is going to be like Hell. I wish I could get some balance of hard and easy but no. That's what they don't want for me. It's like jogging through the park, easy but then next thing you know, a big ass hill I can't avoid. Darn it. 

Oh well, when you gotta deal, you gotta deal. 

I'll keep you updated, whoever there is to care. =]

-DS.

Again, the photos are by me, I like photography. ^_^

[.:Thoughts of The Night:.]

I'm bored out of my mind and I thought that maybe I could talk, but to who at 4am in the morning? Blog it. This thing is quite useful. I was just thinking about myself and my life...

People have always told me I have a loud personality with a really loud voice and an undeniable raidiance of blissful glee. Though to speak, I find it all deniable and a down right lie sometimes. I mean seriously. No one, no one, can be happy all the time, right?

I think that my loud personality is like my shell, my protection from the world that charges at me constantly with situations and troubles. I don't think I could ever be completely myself in front of people I don't love so much. People I love can see the real me though. But like a switch, if I see someone, a not so close friend, I add a little more hint of my bubbly sunshine. I'm not saying I have a personality disorder but I think a lot of people do it, their social profile doesn't always completely match their introvertive self. Their personal self. 

~~~***~~~

Only two or three days ago did I have a fight with friend. It was more so an issue of question, can this person ever treat me as equal as her other good friend? Or will she ditch me immediately, while I stood by her, when she gets her friend back? 

But I later learned through e-mails why she does the things she does, because, she opened up to me, she felt the relation and reason to explain. She told me that, in her world, she has to please everyone she loves and that she feels the need to fix things all the time. Because she can't imagine hurting someon she loves, she rather they hurt her than vice versa. I don't want to expose her personal things she wrote as much as I already have, but I understood why. But this situation wasn't her fault and she never had to fix it, she fixed things that didn't need fixing and I saw her reasoning behind why she could do something like she did. 

And it came to the point where I was telling her that if she had seen what I had gone through, her life would be a walk in the park. So she opened up to me, a snippet of her darkness. And she told me something she had never told anyone, and so for that I thanked her for trusting me.

I realized at that point, when she said she felt the need to tell me that, tha under some of my loud personality my memories leak into lives and let people relate to me. People have always told me they felt they could share with me and that there was something about me. And I would always say in my mind that it was because you can relate to my pain and you can feel like you belong with me. I can be related to anyone pain because, willingly, I listen. And for that people become thankful.

The key  to being a good speaker is to listen. I say it sometimes, and I realize as well that, I subconcsciously apply that to my life. But really, I don't need to be a good speaker, maybe story telling is better. =]

I don't have much more to say because I think I am actually a bit tired, tired enough to sleep. So I'll say good night and good early morning to everyone. =]

Thanks for listening. Hehe.

-DS

.

Yes, the photos are by me. =]

It's one of those nights...

It's one of those nights, the one where you're up at an unthinkable time, sitting there, sleepless. The radiating heat source warms your skin against the frozen air around. The air is ice cold and you wonder why you left it open if you were going to huddle near your electricity wasting, hot heated lamp. But you don't even have to think to answer. It's the comfort zone of yours, different from others, the ones with fattening junk foods, from being with your love and enjoying the bed being shared. Just, different. It's not the buzz you need. It's the loneliness you need, space to think. 

You think for more than you can imagine; about life, mistakes, memories, choices, future. It comes to you, the anxiety that gets to you. Realizing nothing is set in stone and everything is a problem coming at you. You feel like, if you were in a movie, flashes of memories would be playing behind you lids and you would be the emotions you felt at that moment, but that's in movies. Reality is that when you think about it, those memories that haunt or brighten your life...are really what is to say about yourself. The way you are, the reason you've become stronger in some ways and weak in others. You feel memories, and you feel the overload. Angst filled tears stroll down your cheeks and you decide, alone time is over. Sleep and wake up tomorrow. 

The next morning, you wake up and do your daily routines. Go to work say hello to your fellow co-workers and put a smile on your face, pretending. Pretending like nothing ever happened. 

None of it happened. 

Just a heads up...

I seem to take a notice to blogs whenever I stumble upon them. And usually it only takes a couple posts for me to want to "follow" a.k.a, I'd be a fan pretty easily. I mean, I am new to this and all but I catch on quick. So don't get scared if you're like only one of three or four that I decide to "follow". 

Mmkay? Kay.

I have a feeling I'll be posting a lot in my nights of boredom. ^_^

Not that I think people will read or anything but, you never know, right?

I don't do the sub4sub thing just so you know.

I think I'm taking advantage of my free weekend a little too much, I'm messing up my sleeping habits. xD

Oh well, tons of work to do too. Then again, I called it a "sick day" on Friday. And it turned out later on I actually became sick for a bit. My throat is killin, aha. It's what I get I guess. 

talk to you soon.

-DS

DS - That's me! =]

I guess proper introductions are in order, right?

Well, I'm commonly known as DiscolouredSkittlesz.

But for real, my name is Jabine. And I'm pleased you stumbled upon my blogs. 

Of course before hand, let me warn you they may not be all happy and open at times. 

Not everyone is just sugar, diamonds and crystals all the time right?

I guess you could say, I'm a more real person. With hard times, good times and flat out hilarious times that happen at any random moment and I do my best to blog them and to remember them. 

That's where you come in right? You get to go along with my life and read the joyous and hard times I live all the time.

So a bit about me.

My name is Jabine.

I live in Canada.

I'm outgoing, crazy and hyper almost all the time but you probably couldn't tell from writing unless I put a bunch of OMFG! AHHHHHHHH WAHOOOO. Type things, but in writing I am reserved a lot. 

I'm not sure if I will blog a LOT because half the thing I'll blog will have to be done first right?

So I'll be out making and doing things to blog about, mmkay? So don't wait up. I'll blog you later, byee. <3

With all my love, 

DiscolouredSkittlesz.